dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
