I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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