Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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