dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
