I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you win again, gameday.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
