At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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