Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
