That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize