let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
