You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
