this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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