Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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