do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
