im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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