I hate all girls vehemently.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
