Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
