So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
