At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
