Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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