I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
