Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
