Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
