so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
