Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
