Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
