every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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