And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
