what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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