id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
