It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
