Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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