she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We're too hungover to prance.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
