It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
