ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
