youre lurking in front of me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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