hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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