remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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