so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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