More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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