Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
