he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
