My vagina just recognized that song.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
