I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
