she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Someone came in the potted fern
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
