Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize