she was so not down for the gang bang
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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