My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
well most of my day revolves around power hour
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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