Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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