woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
