I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
