maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
