Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
