she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
