youre lurking in front of me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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