hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
