thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This is my gift to your gina
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize