I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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