in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
