my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
